Well, allow me to retort.

HAH! Movember 30th has arrived. 30 long days and long nights with this weight on my shoulders.

What weight you ask? Well, when you do something in life you may as well do it right and that my friends is how you have a good time doing it, give it meaning and bring in a little bit of emotional muscle.

Today has been a riot. From the dressing up, the potential mega night at the Movember Gala and the culmination of a month of sponsorship.

This won't be my last post, perhaps that ultimate post I speak of may not come for a few days, after a time to reflect on what was has passed. I risk you all losing interest by then for it'll be December but it's more about an out pour of thought than pleasing the masses with a insightful comment on the big day. Like I said, if you're going to do something you may as well do it right.

I will say this though: Thank you to all your support. Even those who ridiculed (and continue to do so, I don't blame them, see photo), you've made me a stronger and better person. Yeah that sounds like a bit of touchy feely crap but really, the more you put someone down sometimes (even in jest) the more it makes them wanna upper cut that which is life and deliver that knock out blow in terms of something big (and hopefully tangible).

I guess outwardly it was the cash that showed that with a little bit of banter and effort you can raise a heck of a total towards charity and inwardly there has been a shift in attitude within myself and hopefully those around me.

I'll leave it there for now.

Hairyness is next to Godlyness.

Less than two days left. That's right. Two days.

It only took an entire month of not shaving, constant banter, witty ripostes to recount the constant peer group flack and a feeling of hairy inadequacy to get to this point.

I reckon I've done pretty well if I do say so myself.

This isn't my final thought as I need to actually have a final thought before I can put it into words but I guess I wanted to have a penultimate post that warmed me up for tomorrow and prepared me for the loss of my hairy brethren.

Saturday will be a strange day, I'll be missing something. Something that has been part of my appearance for the first time in my life, something that was unique to me, something that I was told couldn't be done and for all intents and purposes shouldn't be done. But I did it. I grew it it. It became a hairy signature on my face and although I wish it away at this point it stands as a metaphor of achievement for all things Movember means to me.

I won't forget it. I'll still have my Facebook photos, my gallery photos, this blog and possibly the same 30 days next year to recount on the year that was, the time that has been, and the journey gone by.

So, to Gala or not to Gala is the next question. Do I party it up with my Mo-Bro's and Sista's or do I just cruise by on my Friday night? I have costume, I have will, I have Mo, perhaps that Parte is calling me after all.

Now to find some aviators, a head band, a tight tshirt and put on my best blue denim 70's suit. May God have mercy on our souls.

It LIVES! Less than 120 hours to go.

That's right you nay Sayer's. I have a Mo. It's long, it's a bit blond but undoubtedly there is a Mo there. So nyer.

It's been a long, committed and diligent journey. I've thought about this hairy companion for awhile now, watching it take form, nurturing it, whispering to it softly and willing it along to grow just that little bit more lest I face another day of berating from peers and strangers alike.

So there. I'm hairy. I'm a man (even if it's a vague definition of one) and I'm sun burt.

Yes, the weekend was spent in the sun at an outdoor party located 200km bush wise from Melbourne. I paraded around my little hairy sex magnet without so much as a sideways glance as there were far funnier looking folks than myself meandering around the place. I was lost in the background that was the Earthcore crowd. But I partied it up with my Mo in place, it enhanced my rude bush look and to great consequence: I convinced a few non believers to donate. Not by way of banter but by showing that there is no embarrassment but pride in showing off my Mo. There is, in fact, hope for those with slow growing hair follicles.

So here I sit, less than 5 days to go, aiming for great monetary heights, thinking once again about why I'm doing this and beaming from not only a great weekend but the knowledge that the efforts put in thus far as going to a great cause. They will hopefully alleviate some of the male health stress that thousands of my testosterone filled Homo sapien counterparts have to endure when faced with medical life changing problems.

It's the final countdown.

I'm on the home stretch. The finish line is in sight, the Mo is blooming (as much as a non-hairy person can bloom) and fundage is increasing steadily.

If there was any doubt at my commitment to this cause let me dispel it here.

There has been varied supported for Movember and I've had my fair share of discussions with those that are Pro-Mo and those that are Anti-Mo.

In the end I guess the reason for sponsorship is two fold.

a) You're sponsoring because you think it's a good cause and a friendly outlet is not a bad place to put the money.

b) You're sponsoring because you can see my commitment to said cause and that I am emotionally attached to the plight.

Whether you're a a) or b) or both you're still doing something good, whether it be directly for the fund or indirectly.

To those who can't see the logic to this or think that Movember is just a big hoo-ha and yet another "flavour of the month charity", bully to you. Don't be so self centered and really, narrow minded. Fair enough you can't give to every single charity on this earth but once in a while when a friend puts up their hand and makes some effort don't you think there is a little rhyme and reason to their emotional out pour?

I don't aspire to be the embodiment of the quintessential Mo standing on a soap box the size of the Eureka tower shouting my undying love for charity but I would like to be a guy with a little panache, commitment and responsibility to bringing a couple of extra bucks towards a good cause and hopefully do it with a little bit of originality (for fun) and meaning.

Hair for the open minded.

I'll be honest. The Mo is giving me the shits. I can feel it in the pool, I can feel it when I blow my nose and I can feel it when I move my lip to talk. It's there all the time. But that's a good thing.

Movember may be a little bit of fun, a time when all us clean shaven gentlemen do something out of the ordinary. The Mo is a constant reminder of the causes we decided to grow it for in the first place. It's better than a yellow daffodil or a little ribbon because it changes everyday and you can't possibly avoid it when you look in the mirror.

Whether you're doing your best Zorro impression in the mirror or simply just brushing your teeth the Mo is there, just in case you forgot.

It's hard work raising cash. It's hard work growing a Mo. It's important that these things are difficult though. Tasks we take for granted are easy to forget about others that take a bit of Ninja grace are ones you'll remember forever and remind you of the root cause for engagement.

Whether you've embraced Movember for a bit of fun or because you honestly believe in the cause it doesn't matter, you're raising awareness for the cause. The end result is the same and hopefully in the process you'll come away with having learnt something for your efforts. This may not be that insightful but it's sure easy to forget.

Slackness prevails but so does the hair growth.

Crap, it's been a week since I posted so I'm sorry for the one or maybe two people that probably read this, your refresh buttons must have had a work out checking for daily updates, or at least, bi weekly.

The week past of Mo growing has been fruitful. There is, as you can see, a certain seedy hair line starting to appear below my nose. I'm heading for pool cleaner or seedy Mexican territory.

A work colleague (thanks Shannon) was kind enough to lend me the most awesome denim suit for the Gala. I think the faux-Mo and blue denim suit should look quite the part, really.

Moving along slightly, I competed in my first tri on the weekend so I have a very special 18th day "Game Face" Mo shot. Not sure why I look so serious, was probably thinking about not drowning.

Didn't do too bad and the results are online if anybody is interested: HERE.

Donations are going well, but as usual, keep 'em coming. Thank you all who have contributed thus far, I've got a prop list down the side of the blog so if I've missed antibody's name let me know, much apologies. 4 figures should be realised by the end of the month, hopefully a few hundred more.

I am having some Mo issues though. It is starting to annoy and I've almost shaved it off three times (mistakenly) out of habit. Even with lack of shaving cream in that horizontal area muscle memory has a firm grasp and automatic Mo shaving has been only narrowly avoided on those occasions.

The taunts continue but they aren't very original. To all those who actually asked wittingly whether or not I was actually growing a Mo, bullocks to you. It wasn't funny the first time and it's not funny now. At least use a little bit of brain power and come up with a better witticism if you intend to make fun of my lip warmer.

Some may notice there is no Day 16 shot. Progress doesn't really change THAT much from day to day, but in an attempt to take an original photo I ended up forgetting after a few drinks and went to bed only to awaken on Day 17 without a candid from the day before. Sigh. These things happen but hopefully the momentary lapse in Mo dedication won't weaken your support for said Mo.

Oh what a wonderful life.

Holy funk it's been good weather recently, as indicated by yesterdays photo. A top the Olivers Hill look out in good ol' Frankston. Very nice day for a ride, albeit a little windy on the way south.

So for all you non believers and skeptics a like my Mo has commeth. Pores in my skin are putting their hairy hands up in protest to prevent further embarrassment.

How long will it grow? There is a mixture of dark, light and blond hairs. Quite odd given that only my arms have light coloured hair on them. Perhaps because my lip is located fairly centrally there is a mix of genetics happening above my cake hole.

Thanks again for all the donations thus far, there has been some very generous and supportive people. I try and get a bit wordy to give some fun back, but I'm in IT and thus a functioning illiterate according to statistical data so forgive me if it's not THAT gripping.

There was a bit of talk in the paper about a chap in the states who in a fleeting moment of passion caught the eye of fellow train passenger while he was on the NY subway and fell immediately in love with her. He then proceeded to expose his unrequited feelings for her via a website of his own creation. Perhaps I should pick some girl out at random and expose my unrequited feelings. Would the Mo be the turning point? Could she deal with a hairy face mongrel for a few more weeks? Would my private collection of naked bath toy poses cause relationship woes before the relationship even began?

Perhaps these questions are better asked after November (sorry, Movember) draws to a close.

There's more to life than a hairy top lip.

Well there better be more to life. Almost two weeks have ended and I have little but a tiny bit of blond hairy evidence starting to show itself. Pathetic. Even my triathlon squad makes fun of me.

I've been met with the usual: "Oh you're doing Movember?" response when trying to add that I've been working my ass off to bring some cash in for my lame-mo.

As it turns out having a lame-Mo is a pretty good selling point but I'm not really near my target of $1000. I'm trying to push for that right now and I'm sure I'll reevaluate when I do hit it, because I will, WITH YOUR HELP.

I may be getting a little competitive, hysterical and pushy but it's a sponsorship drive for donations. Karma can only push me along, not stomp on my testicles ... I hope.

Time to digress.

My previous little reflective snippet didn't go as planned. My brain wasn't lubed that day and I'm not sure much has changed.

Depression has so profoundly affected my growing up that I've had time to lose my objective hat. Which is a good thing, I think.

It's easy to misunderstand, become frustrated and lose all hope when you're trying to support someone but you come to realise that understanding their journey, showing patience and persevering when all seems lost not only helps their strength but your own as well.

Illogical decision making, self doubt, helplessness, mania, irrationality around ones self worth and sadness are extreme emotions that we all have to deal with at one time or another but their chronic long term affliction is another thing all together. Having the strength to pull through moments like these is something we may all take for granted but those suffering from depression don't often have that comfort.

Where is the Mo love?

So, I was on hiatus for 5 days during the long weekend. There wasn't much time for me to hit the blogger but my upper lip has had the time to culture itself.

I've only included one photo in today's post, the rest are available from the link on the top left of the blog.

I've been working hard growing this thing. I've been taunted, poked, prodded and generally degraded by those who I thought were meant to support me. Oh the shame. The shame.

Given that the content thus far has been somewhat bland other than a few of my personal touches into humour-dom, I thought I'd touch on why I'm so vehemently pursuing this cause and perhaps why my caped crusading for other donation drives has been flaky in the past.

I guess it comes down to personal involvement. When you're touched by the issues a cause is trying to support it's easy to be empathetic. From a young age I've been in a caring capacity for those around me who have been afflicted with the condition. It has given me strength and a wealth of knowledge well beyond my years.

I find it difficult to articulate precisely how I feel about this right now and I think this retrospective and introspective piece of reflection will be the spark that may ignite something a little more insightful further in to this month of hairy proceedings.

Do Ashley and Martin consult for upper lips?

The second day has arrived but the old growth forest that is meant to be my lip hasn't produced any hairy product.

Yep, as per the photos, I'm pretty much baby bottom territory as per yesterday. I'm not cheating, if you're wondering. I know this is a all a bit laughable but I'm sure there will be some upper lip pricklies to sprout in the next few days. If I just wish hard enough...

To those wondering who "Ashley and Martin" is and why they are missing out on my pithiness I'll give you the down low. They're a "hair re-growth specialist for men with hereditary hair loss". Fill in the witty gaps yourself.

To show that I haven't been exposed to radiation and that there is actually hair elsewhere on my body I've included an oh-so-sexy shot of my upper torso. Yes ladies, that's all me. Enticing huh? If you're wondering how you can get "some of this" then by all means, the mo-donation jar will lubricate me enough to be a bit more forth coming. Goodness, how unholy to be this greasy before 9am.

The Pledge of the First Day

The prologue to all this has since passed as I only came up with the blog idea today. It's not original but its better than what most are contributing, I mean, you should get value for your hard earned donation money.

If you don't know what the hell I'm talking about, see the bottom of the page, it explains all.

So I have shaved last night (as I do once, maybe twice a week) for anticipation of the big day today. My smooth face is once again exposed to the atmosphere and my top lip is primed for hair growth.

What you may or may not know (or haven't quite got the gist of from my constantly broadcast anti-hairiness) is that I'm a mid twenties man that hasn't passed puberty yet. Yes, I struggle to grow hair. It grows on my head just fine (albeit with a little bit of hereditary loss) and my chest seems to know whats going on but the face gets no hair grow love.

This makes Movember for me a little farcical. I know I haven't left myself unshaven for more than a few weeks since my teens and perhaps early neglectful twenties but I'm fairly certain that nothing much has changed.

So come along for this journey with me, its sure to be a hoot.

Prepare for blog entries, photos, youtube videos, maybe some audio and general hairy links. Anything to distract you from the fact that in all likely hood I'm going to fail to keep my top lip warm with my own body hair.



And remember to donate! The reason why I'm doing this is because I honestly believe in the causes that I'm supporting, it's not just for kicks. Promise.